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From a very young age my mother was our everything, and when our daddy passed away suddenly she made sure that she tried to fulfil not only her role as a mother but his too, had he been alive. I remember as a child he would take my mum monthly shopping and we would tag along; we would fully change into the new garments and shoes he had purchased for us every single time and go to bed in them, sometimes! Watching him shop with his wife and make it a fun day amazed me because I knew his work was demanding and gruesome in prosecuting and investigating the goriest of human acts. Family time and days out were his happiest and I’m yet to meet anyone who looked as handsome in a white suit like my daddy did. He was always smart or casual smart. I never saw him in slacks or t-shirts and he always smelt so wonderful. He really looked after himself and was always smiling.
Our first year in India was shopping heaven. My darling mummy would take my sister and I shopping weekly. She said as we were now young adults at 18 and 19 it was time for us to have the freedom to shop and use clothes as a form of expression. She was ready to give the very best and, boy oh boy, we were not ready for it. Imagine walking into a boutique with the friendliest assistants, she would sit down and say give my daughter anything they want. We would spend most afternoons moving from one boutique to another and at the end of the day, also pick whatever we wanted for dinner, then head home with a minivan taxi full of shopping. To date, I do not know of any other parent who did this. She says that after being so strict for 18 years, (I wore my first crop top at 19, our first and only fashion induced fight ever; more on that saga some other time), it was about time that she truly spoiled us as a thank you and also because it is most certainly what our dad would have done. Most, if not all my purchases have a story behind them, a song, a whisper, a magnetic pull that binds until it is time to be passed on to others or saved for future generations to enjoy. The oldest items in my Wardrobe are a faux mink coat which my mummy had for years and gave as a gift when I turned 20 and I have a sparkly disco blouse that is so extravagant and was the first piece of clothing I ever fell in love with. I have had it for 18 years and still never worn it. Its too beautiful and I am waiting for the perfect event to wear it but Chanel has already staked her claim to it.
My mother always encouraged self-discovery and expression in the choice of ‘attire/ensemble’ we picked, (p.s. according to the school of mummy, if you call them clothes it makes it impersonal, you may as well not wear them, such a wise mama). She believes that clothing and products pick and speak to your mood and personality not the other way round. She is always saying, ‘Irina, when something sings to your soul, get it…plus you only live once!’
As a child of the Eighties shopping online was not a possibility. We have all witnessed the changes in the retail industry and it is wonderful getting in with the times and exploring the new global markets. Like everyone else, I enjoy seeing products laid out and presented, (don’t even get me started on Le Galeries LaFayette’s Christmas display oooh la la hand down ..epic!), and being able to sample and interact with the staff on the products. Some online retailers offer this but that personal touch I must admit is something I miss. Visiting retailers has always appealed to many as the most authentic shopping experience, but the world is changing and platforms like Etsy, Alibaba and Amazon and others, gives retailers who may not be able to have the funds available, to set up stores. I have discovered the most incredible family-run businesses that I would never have had access to had I not discovered them online. The platforms have given online retailers easy access to wider markets and the ability to build relationships with buyers from across the world at the click of a finger. It also helps that there are now safer methods of making payments.
Here’s why I shop online in 1…2…3…
Shopping with children is a ‘daymaaaaare’ to say the least. I love my girls but they do turn into different human beings in malls. The attention span fizzles, the crowds are too much, they get tired and it’s quite simply a sensory overload, which no child should bear unless it’s a toy-shopping day. Even those have now been limited to birthdays because the older they get the more they will argue over their choices and insist on having the same items separately instead of smartly picking different items they can share and get more out of.I’ve been trying to get them to think like this and ultimately given up.
I am too fabulous and too tired to carry shopping bags, (try strutting with bags and two kids fighting over who will hold which hand).
Arguments which often take place on the shop floor with families are eliminated with online shopping. No dealing with saying no to a child asking for chockers and crop tops. Not that there is anything wrong with them but I was raised in an African setting where you don’t, as a matter of fact, can only dare to dream of asking for certain items. The saying goes that ‘when you are in your own home and old enough to purchase them then you can freely wear them’.
When online, I can shop around compare store items in baskets and review when needed.
If you sign up for newsletters you will always know in advance when a sale is about to start or when a designer is about to collaborate with a store. Those long queues waiting for stores to open on a big day are a thing of the past.
Its great for budgeting, hardly any impulse buys… wink! (if they are, then its perfectly justified.. haha).
If you change your mind or order the wrong amount, you can always try to cancel an order before it ships.
You are able to search, compare different price points, check reviews and have plenty of time to ask yourself whether you need or just want an item. By the time I purchase anything online, I have done my research and it is a well thought out process.
Checking labels is essential and something you cannot properly do in a shop without some attendant eyeing you suspiciously. If your family members have atopic skin conditions, the labels on garments are probably the first thing you look at before checking the price and the location of these labels on some items is enough to give one a migraine.
It opens up a wider market and access to stores all over the world, which deliver fabulous items that aren’t available on the high street. Many high street malls are very limited for my needs and as I watch major retailers closing, I can see why people are more inclined to try new and different sources. The best thing is that some online retailers will wait for you to confirm delivery and happy with the product before money is released to them, which is why I absolutely love Ali Express. I buy a lot of unique things from them, so if you have not yet discovered the treasures they have, prepare to be blown away.
It is wonderful that one can track items in transit and the anticipation of having that email saying your delivery is on its way? ooooh who needs Christmas and Birthdays, even a small delivery is exciting and appreciative. I have mastered the virtue of patience and waiting weeks for something special does not bring stress and anxiety, it makes me a persevering individual and good things do come to those who wait.
I would rather go for a meal or walk through a city viewing the world; admiring the architecture, observing people and soaking up what street performers and artists have to offer than physically go shopping for hours.
I have discovered some gems over the last few weeks from clothing to household items that will just make you go, I want that. Feel free to message me if there is anything you are particularly after. My shopping Mantra has always been ‘Spend Less on the things you Want, so you can have More for the things you need.’
Keep checking and don’t forget; Ahabi Love Always.
